I see how it can all go bad
How people can just get tired of it
There have few hardships for me
But i still get tired
I also see the beauty in things
Don’t think it eludes me
For me it just isn’t enough
I don’t know what I want
If I wasn’t a coward it would end
I wish it was someone else’s choice
Religion doesn’t work
Praying doesn’t either
Friends can try
Family will try
None really get it
I just feel lost
I don’t want to talk
I just want to be alone and think
To be able to close my eyes
And not have to feel burdened
Im beyond words now
Beyond prayer
Your thoughts only thicken the air I breath

I’m not even religious wtf?

When u realize that what you do in this life doesn’t matter, you can take the steps to ensuring your own soul is lost.

By laying my own path, I have lead myself down a road with no light, no way back, and no end. I’ve closed my eyes now, and I am letting him walk for me, when I open them again. I hope to be overwhelmed with his grace. And find that the path I created is washed away, and I can fianlly walk the trail he has set at my feet. One with no suprising twists or turns, carved into the soul, and illuminated by the light of his heart.

Unsure

I saw u reach for me. I turned away. I heard u cry for me. I didn’t listen. I felt you love me. I closed my heart. I watched u leave. I couldnt move.

The lady before me

My eyes see only the hourglass. A portrait of her youth, allowing her not to age. I am here only to turn, no more. So I continue turning, fearing with age, she will become wise, and with wisdom the realization that she needs no turning.

That thing you see

Mirrors are such powerful things. They let us look through the eyes of our friends. Through the eyes of our families, and even through the eyes of strangers. Mirrors show us what we don’t want to see. Shows us whats missing, and whats hidden beneath. Smile into a mirror, and it will smile back. Cry in front of a mirror, it will cry for you. A mirror is a powerful thing.

Letter from the lazy boy

Dear Dad,

I can see u sitting there. I come through the door, tired. You ask me how my day was, the conversation and questioning doesn’t last long. The lights go out and I’m in bed. This series of events, at the time, means nothing. Time passes but little has changed, I come home and the conversation starts and ends as usual. But tonight, as I lay in my bed. I can’t help but think about the day I come home, and your chair is empty. I can’t imagine anything changing. But I know it will, and I wonder what u thought of me each time I walked through that screen door. As I lay here, I cry, a simple and complex emotion that completely engulfs me. I realize that these are not meaningless events now. These moments are going to live with me forever, and shape my future. I can see myself coming through the door long after you are gone, sitting down in your old chair, and trying to see life as you saw it.

I can’t sleep now….. are you still up? The stairs moan and snap as I head down to see you…… The chair is empty, the lights are out………You have been sleeping for awhile now. I forgot to tell you something. It’s ok, I can tell you tommorrow. I love you.

This day

It starts with a cloud drifting on by As the day passes you will no longer be dry.

This cloud that passes isn’t normal you see, It holds raindrops that fall onto you and me.

Quickly in the house so we won’t get wet. This storm will last days for weeks I bet.

We watch from the window as the storm moves in, and makes itself cozzy, like a bear in a den.

Nothing to do in the house when it rains. Except play with our toys, our dolls and airplanes.

The rain keeps on falling making puddles of mud. The water is rising, and starting to flood.

The clouds begin to part, and out comes the sun. The rain is gone now, the storm must be done.

Into the yard to finally play. The storm is over, but it lasted all day.

By shore

I dreamt I was walking a path on the edge of a great mountain. On one side of this mountain I could see a valley, lush with trees and life. On the other side, there was nothing, it’s as if a great fire had swept across the land, and in it’s wake had left a new beginning. As I move forward the narrow path in front of me opens up, and the trail that I am walking diminishes into the bed of a great lake. I fear that I am lost, and to continue down this path, I must drown what I know in the waters of my faith. Cleansing my mind and soul of what I have seen. As I contemplate my emersion, I can’t help but follow the shoreline with my eyes. Again I can see two sides, on one, a vast ocean with sealife and plants growing from every crevice. On the other, a desert, the waters edge receding swiftly with every passing moment. The heat unbearable, and the air suffocating. I am torn between these two shores, and for the moment have given rest to the thought of my emersion into the great lake.

This way to salvation

Masked by darkness

and

Washed in light

Marked with sorrow

but

Awakened with sight

Moved by confusion

and

Overwhelmed with power

Cautioned by shadows

but

Constructed to tower

Engulfed in flames

and

Challenged to race

Defeated by pity

but

Saved by grace

Givin up

Think of me the way i was.

Remember me now this way because.

I will fade away and dissapear.

So shed them now, a drop, a tear.

Don’t think of me when things go bad.

Don’t think of me, so tired and sad.

Hide me away, for none to see.

Lock me away, where there is no key.

Never let me out, no matter the reason.

Come passing of time, or change of season.

Forgetting is easy, if only you’d try.

The past will fade, will soften, will die.

I hope you will see the reason I ask.

My death isn’t a reason, a shield, a mask.

Open your heart to someone new.

A last gift of love, from me to you.